1 00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:03,795 Good work. 2 00:00:03,795 --> 00:00:05,797 And make sure to get those papers in. 3 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,385 Mr. Marquez, 4 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,262 can I talk to you for a second? 5 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:13,805 Uh, yeah. What's up, Eddie? 6 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:16,975 I've been having some thoughts. 7 00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:18,810 Oh, my God. Suicidal. 8 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:22,772 - You want me to call somebody? - No, no. I-It's about my orientation. 9 00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:24,524 I guess you would call it an... 10 00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:26,776 I-I think I'm... 11 00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:29,779 I-I think I'm gay. 12 00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:31,656 And I know that you're gay. 13 00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:33,616 And I thought that maybe you could help me or, 14 00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:36,661 like, talk me through how to tell the people in my life 15 00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:40,331 'cause this is all just so new and scary, 16 00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:43,293 and I could really use some support. 17 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:49,507 What? You're scared to come out? It's 2024. 18 00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:52,010 Just go in the hall and say "I'm gay." 19 00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:55,889 I-I'm sorry, I don't mean to be mean. Like, I can't help you with this. This is... 20 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,807 I grew up in the '90s. That was different. 21 00:00:57,807 --> 00:01:00,268 J-Just go and get advice from kids your age. 22 00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:03,563 I mean, if you want somebody to talk to, go talk to one of the many out gay kids 23 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:05,064 at this school, you know. 24 00:01:05,064 --> 00:01:06,232 Yeah. [stutters] Okay. 25 00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:09,110 But be careful, don't talk to one of those nonspecific queer kids 26 00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:10,945 who may or may not be doing it for clout. 27 00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,031 Those people are mostly straight. 28 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,699 - Don't tell anybody I said that. - Yeah. 29 00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:16,701 You're gonna wanna find, like, a real gay person. 30 00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:19,704 Like, classic gay vibes, you know? 31 00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:21,456 "Queen-y." You know? 32 00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:23,541 Should be easy to identify. Don't tell anybody I said that. 33 00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:24,834 Somebody your age. 34 00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:27,420 They'll help you more than me, I think. 35 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:30,840 But great... great. Thanks. Very good. 36 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,801 Okay, I'll see you later. Bye. 37 00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:36,095 I don't know. I just feel like you don't listen to me 38 00:01:36,095 --> 00:01:38,681 when I tell you what I want. I don't want a birthday event, Malcolm. 39 00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:40,391 Oh, my God, you fucking nerd. 40 00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:43,102 It's not an event. It's you and me going to a bar. 41 00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:45,355 It's a leather daddy bar. 42 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,106 People need to have fun in this life. I'm sorry. 43 00:01:47,106 --> 00:01:49,484 You and me are going to fucking Tom of Austin 44 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:52,320 for your 35th motherfucking birthday 45 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:56,241 because you are a gay man in your prime and someone needs to suck your dick. 46 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:58,368 I'm at school. 47 00:01:58,368 --> 00:01:59,869 Nobody needs to suck my dick. 48 00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,371 I need to suck your dick. 49 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,498 I'm kidding. No, we're friends, remember? 50 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:06,167 I have an outfit picked out for you. It's cunt as hell. 51 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:09,546 No, I'm not wearing whatever you have planned. I'm not wearing it. 52 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:13,007 Yes. Yes, it's cute. It's comfy. You're gonna love it. Bye. 53 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,928 ♪ Every time I see you falling ♪ 54 00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:20,598 ♪ I get down on my knees and pray ♪ 55 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:24,394 ♪ I'm waiting for that final moment ♪ 56 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:27,647 I feel like my balls are hanging out of these shorts. 57 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,315 Yeah, they're shorts, babe. 58 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,651 Well, I haven't dressed like this since I was 24. 59 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,194 Some people still think you're 24. 60 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,362 Nobody thinks I'm 24, Malcolm. 61 00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:35,780 I mean, they do when you're with me. 62 00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:37,740 They're like, "Look at those two 20-somethings. 63 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,200 They have their life ahead of them. 64 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,952 Are they going to an Ice Spice concert?" 65 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,162 -"I like them." - Just get inside the bar. 66 00:02:43,162 --> 00:02:45,874 If some parent sees me here, they're probably gonna try to hate-crime me. 67 00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:48,001 Oh, my God. Not everyone in the world is a homophobe 68 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,128 - as much as you'd love that. - Malcolm, I know we're in Austin, 69 00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,796 but you forget we are also in Texas. 70 00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,548 Yeah, we are at a gay bar in Texas, 71 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,259 in a gay bar parking lot filled with gay people's cars. 72 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:59,137 And you, I know you think you're the only gay man in this universe, but-- 73 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,514 I feel like I hear that you're about to start talking 74 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,683 - about Berlin again, am I right? - I actually wasn't. 75 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,143 But let's fucking go there, baby, 76 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:07,312 because in Berlin, your life is your work is your life, 77 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,023 - and you can actually be yourself... - Right. "Your life is your work"... 78 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:13,151 - ...in any environment. Don't... Don't-- - That perspective is what got you fired. 79 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:15,361 I resigned like a US president. 80 00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:21,451 This could be fun actually. 81 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:25,330 Ew. You're attracted to the most, like, basic bodybuilder bodies. 82 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,414 It's so embarrassing. 83 00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:27,749 You can just say you're jealous. 84 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,709 I'm... [stammers] I'm not jealous of him. 85 00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,754 Uh, it's been a while since I've been around just gay people. It's really good. 86 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,422 I'm doing something that's not work for once. 87 00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:35,924 He's 35. You don't need to check it. 88 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:39,135 Thirty-five. I'm younger. Check mine. 89 00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:43,431 Surprise! 90 00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:45,016 Happy birthday. - Oh, my God. 91 00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:46,434 Happy birthday, Ev. Remember us? 92 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:47,518 Happy birthday. 93 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:53,358 Oh, my God. 94 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,609 You like that? 95 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,988 This is insane, okay? 96 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:02,992 You cannot bring people like the people I work with to a place like this. 97 00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:05,119 They're gonna freak the fuck out. God. 98 00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:06,996 Oh, my God. Daddy, chill. It's fine. 99 00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:09,707 - They deserve to freak out. - They don't need to be freaked out. 100 00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:10,959 - Moretti is here? - Yeah. 101 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,044 You brought Grant Moretti to this bar? 102 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:15,463 Oh, I get it. I... I have to... Just... 103 00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:17,840 Is this your idea of, like, a fun surprise? 104 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,342 Yes. Yeah. That's why I did it. 105 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,970 I gotta say you're acting, like, a little not grateful. 106 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,097 You should just smile. Smile. Have fun. Have fun. 107 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,974 - Evan, Evan, Evan. Malcolm, hello. - Hi. 108 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,225 I just need to disclose quickly 109 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,727 that since there are more than three faculty members here, 110 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:33,439 this is technically a school event, so I just... just act accordingly. 111 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,191 And happy birthday. 112 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:36,275 Happy birthday. 113 00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:37,443 Are... Are you okay? 114 00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:40,321 Of course, of course. I'm open-minded. I'm open-minded. 115 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,615 I'm a little uncomfortable, but I'm working through it. Hello. 116 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,117 Excuse me. Don't touch him. Goodbye. 117 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,743 - Thank you, sir. - Later. 118 00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:47,286 Thank you. He's not interested. 119 00:04:47,286 --> 00:04:49,622 You know there's fisting porn on three of the televisions here? 120 00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:50,707 Oh, God. 121 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,333 All the TVs are playing the same thing. 122 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,460 Oh, no, no, no, no. They all seem to be different ones. 123 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:57,255 There's a... [stammers] You know, traditional missionary style on one. 124 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,757 Of course, it's between two men who are about 40 years old. 125 00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:01,134 Why? Why am I talking about this? 126 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,928 Grant, it's very sweet that you came, 127 00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:06,264 but just... You don't need to stay here, okay? 128 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:07,557 No, no, no, stay. Come on. 129 00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:10,601 I'm gonna do a little performance later that might turn you on. 130 00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:12,895 I remember why it was good you resigned, Malcolm. 131 00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:14,647 See? Thank you. I resigned. 132 00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:16,315 Please just stay for one more hour. 133 00:05:16,315 --> 00:05:17,400 All right. 134 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,236 Maybe a drink then and, uh, hopefully some wings as well. 135 00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:23,948 I don't think they have wings, but there is a cum-themed Bundt cake 136 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:26,284 that, uh, looks pretty good to me. 137 00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,244 Maybe just a drink then. 138 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,582 He's gonna get roofied because of you. 139 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:35,168 Oh, my God. They're not that bad for you. 140 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,134 - Chuck. - Uh... 141 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,136 It's me, dude, Markie Hillridge, man. 142 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:46,846 We played football together in high school. 143 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,222 - Oh, my... Markie? - Exactly. 144 00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:50,308 - What the fuck, dude? - Dude. 145 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:51,434 How are you? - Holy shit. 146 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,894 Ah, It's been forever. I know. 147 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,062 What are you doing here? 148 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,814 I'm here at this birthday party. Is that why you're here? You got a party? 149 00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,941 Uh, no, we're just... You know, we're just hanging, uh... 150 00:05:58,941 --> 00:06:00,318 Wait, 151 00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:03,112 you ended up marrying Kathy Durham, didn't you? 152 00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:04,197 Briefly, yeah. 153 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,741 - Oh. What a dime-piece, man. - Yeah, w-we're divorced. 154 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:07,825 - What? - Uh. Yeah. 155 00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:10,495 Can I get her number? I'm kidding. That sucks, man. 156 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,246 I mean, you guys were, like, joined at the hip 157 00:06:12,246 --> 00:06:13,831 from junior high to graduation and shit. 158 00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:15,458 Y'all were perfect. What happened? 159 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:18,711 Markie, I'm gay. 160 00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:22,673 What? 161 00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:24,592 I sleep with men. 162 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:27,762 Okay. But... Oh, sure, but you weren't gay in high school. 163 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:30,098 I was. Uh, yeah, I was in the closet. 164 00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:31,766 Huh. 165 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:35,019 So, we beat Westlake with a gay quarterback? 166 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,188 - That's what you're saying? - Yeah, you did. 167 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,606 What? Like, 300 yards? 168 00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:39,941 - That game was some shit. - At least. 169 00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,484 I wish you had come out the moment we won. 170 00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:44,278 I came out in the shower after. 171 00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:46,322 This outfit is incredible. 172 00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:49,117 Oh, thanks. Yeah, Malcolm gave me this stuff. 173 00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,409 It's so hot. 174 00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,286 Nick knows he doesn't have to be here, right? 175 00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:54,247 No, that is what I wanna talk to you about. 176 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,082 - We broke up. - What? 177 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,166 - I know. - When? 178 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,501 Like... Just, like... Hey. Whoa. 179 00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,920 Okay, thank you. I'm gonna take, uh, this one. Mm-hmm. 180 00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:02,672 Mmm. 181 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,173 A few hours ago. 182 00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:05,800 I just, like, hit a breaking point. 183 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,552 - With the pool stuff? - Yeah, with the pool. 184 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:11,472 And then like, in hindsight, that pool, like, him digging his own pool is just 185 00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:15,852 a way for him to pretend to be busy instead of looking for a job. 186 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,061 Yeah, we all knew that. 187 00:07:17,061 --> 00:07:19,313 I didn't wanna say anything. I didn't want you to worry about me. 188 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:20,606 I-I knew it. 189 00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:22,942 It was painfully obvious to everyone. 190 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,403 Sure. Right. Well, now you know the truth. 191 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,613 - Gwen. - Yes, baby. 192 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,574 You really don't have to be here. 193 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:32,160 What? No. Are you kidding? 194 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,244 I'm... It's your birthday. 195 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:35,746 And I am definitely gonna find a new man tonight. 196 00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:36,914 Mama is loose. 197 00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:40,251 - You're on the loose. - Oh, my God. I'm on the loose. 198 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:42,378 Wait, do you want a drink? Let me get another drink. 199 00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:44,714 How many shots have you had? I'm gonna get laid. 200 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,924 No. Maybe. - Okay. 201 00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:49,886 Yo, Ev, you know your friend Daniel? 202 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:53,014 - Who? - Daniel, your friend, that guy over there. 203 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,098 That's not my friend. 204 00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:56,893 That's, like, a random waiter I met once. 205 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,644 He was telling me about poppers. 206 00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:02,481 Okay, I wasn't gonna come out tonight, but then I thought, the community. I need it. 207 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:06,319 Wait. So, can you finish explaining what poppers are? 208 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,988 Remember the videos I showed you of guys bottoming? 209 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:11,657 People use poppers for that. Oh. 210 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,367 Yo. Oh, my God. 211 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,870 The whole gang's officially back together again. 212 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:16,954 Yeah. 213 00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:19,373 - Who are you? - Come on, hon. 214 00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:21,542 Guys, I'm down to try poppers. 215 00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:23,211 I-I got you. 216 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,795 I got you, boo. Here... Here's mine. 217 00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:27,256 All right, boys. I got the poppers. 218 00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:29,050 I just had a crazy idea. 219 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:31,302 I've been trying to get a community together 220 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:34,931 of artists and people who dance and sex workers. 221 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:37,266 If you guys are in, I will leave my place. 222 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:41,437 I have a little bit of settlement money from when I sued California Pizza Kitchen. 223 00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:43,898 We have to go. 224 00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:45,691 Good luck, babe. 225 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:51,239 Thank you. 226 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,075 Hey. - Hey. 227 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,785 Kinda surprised to see you here. 228 00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:59,080 I feel like you've been sort of avoiding me since the homecoming debacle. 229 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,540 Yeah, I've been fully avoiding you. 230 00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:05,169 But Malcolm called and, um, it's your birthday. 231 00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:08,798 Well, I enjoyed it before I freaked out. 232 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,342 Our awkward kiss thing. 233 00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:13,386 Yeah, right before the freak-out? Yeah. 234 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,470 Oh, it was great. Yeah. 235 00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:15,930 What are you guys talking about? 236 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:18,015 - Hi. Me? - Hi. 237 00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:19,433 How are you? - How are you? 238 00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:21,227 I'm good. - How's the, um... 239 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:23,479 What is it that you do again? 240 00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:25,648 Uh, thank you so much for asking. I'm a dancer. 241 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:29,026 Uh, yeah, but right now I'm working as a software engineer 242 00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,778 for a very innovative tech start-up. 243 00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,363 What is the start-up? 244 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:36,659 We provide tents for unhoused people, um, through an app. 245 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,286 Unhoused people actually can't access an app 246 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,246 'cause they don't have phones. But they haven't thought-- 247 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,873 They're not called "cell-less." They're called homeless. They have phones. 248 00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:45,960 And why do you need the app? Why can't you just give people the tents? 249 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,170 So many people keep asking me that. 250 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,923 But, you know, we're partnering with North Face, which is really cool. 251 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,174 Whoa. 252 00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,468 Oh. Look at those guys. 253 00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:56,804 Precious. 254 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,352 You know, you can get it with someone. I swear to God, you really... 255 00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:04,854 Oh. 256 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,480 Hey, you slut. How are you? 257 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:09,734 There is not a single straight guy in the house. 258 00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:11,986 That's crazy. 259 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,238 Hug. I love you. 260 00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:16,574 Oh, there's the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. 261 00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:19,160 Oh, Markie, I love you too. Hey. 262 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,120 Hey. Cool. Aw. 263 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,164 You're such a positive force in my life. 264 00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:27,293 And I am just so lucky to know you. You're so great. 265 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,003 Do I ever tell you that? 266 00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,921 Wow. I say that about you all the time. 267 00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:33,174 I feel the same way. I've always wanted to say this to you. 268 00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:35,760 Oh, my God. I'm gonna see about the karaoke situation. 269 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:36,886 Got it. Yeah. 270 00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:39,555 I don't think they have karaoke in here. 271 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:41,349 No, they let you if you're persistent. 272 00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:45,686 - Gwen is so drunk. - More porn on the TVs. 273 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:48,981 That's better. You're welcome, by the way. 274 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,066 For Harry. 275 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,442 What do you mean? 276 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:54,153 I brokered peace between you two, single-handedly, by the way. 277 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,404 You didn't broker anything. 278 00:10:55,404 --> 00:10:57,406 He's just a guy I had an awkward kiss with. 279 00:10:57,406 --> 00:11:01,410 Okay. Well, now he's here and obviously he wants to S and F you. So... 280 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:04,121 Malcolm, it doesn't matter, because nothing can happen. 281 00:11:04,121 --> 00:11:05,539 I know you care about your job. 282 00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:08,918 But you do not need to be, like, a cop in your own life. 283 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:12,171 That stupid rule doesn't mean you can't hook up with coworkers. 284 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:15,383 It means you can't get caught hooking up with coworkers. 285 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:19,428 You-You don't understand something so fundamental about being a teacher. 286 00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:23,224 My work and my personal life are deeply separate things. 287 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,184 Will you stop talking about teaching? 288 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,812 I'm begging you. It's so boring. It's so boring. 289 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,856 I honestly don't care. If you don't want to hook up with Harry, don't. 290 00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:34,693 But, like, him and I do have a vibe. So, if you don't fuck him, I-I do have to. 291 00:11:35,694 --> 00:11:36,946 Okay? 292 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:38,114 Oh. 293 00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:39,907 - Hey, Harry. - Hey. Hey, guys. 294 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,076 Did you see? Harry walked into the bathroom. 295 00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:43,285 Good to see you. - Hey. 296 00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:44,370 Evan, didn't you have to... 297 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:47,123 You were telling me how much you had to go to the bathroom? 298 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:50,835 Pee style, you said, not poop. 299 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,045 Bye, guys. 300 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,966 Sorry. He's always trying to make me uncomfortable. 301 00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,678 I'm uncomfortable so much in my life, honestly. 302 00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,392 This thing does not get hot. 303 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,438 Well, everything else around here is working perfectly. 304 00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,605 I know. - So... 305 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:18,529 So, uh... 306 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,200 What should we do? 307 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:27,580 What do you mean? 308 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:30,291 I kind of dig a crazy girl. 309 00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:36,922 When we did this at school, it didn't end very well. 310 00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:39,925 That's true. 311 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:45,723 But we are not at school right now. 312 00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:49,685 Oh. Am I allowed to pee in here? 313 00:12:49,685 --> 00:12:51,604 Yeah, of course you can pee. It's... It's a bathroom. 314 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,482 No, I-I just heard that bathrooms are high-activity areas, you know? 315 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:55,941 It's got-- Oh. Okay. 316 00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:57,234 I'm so sorry, gentlemen. 317 00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,237 Oh. Whoa, no. Good. 318 00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:05,534 I'm gonna... 319 00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:07,703 So, I'll see you there. 320 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:09,079 Bye. 321 00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:10,164 I'm telling you, guys. 322 00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:13,501 Seriously, modern day root beer tastes nothing like OG root beer. 323 00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,753 - That can't be true. - It is true. Look it up. 324 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:16,837 Hey. One sec. Evan. 325 00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:19,131 Hey, man, this place is fucking awesome, dude. 326 00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:22,051 These guys are great. They're hanging on my every word, man. 327 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,802 It's like they're on team Markie. Big time. 328 00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:27,348 Yeah. So basically, these guys wanna have sex with you. 329 00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:28,307 - With me? - Yeah. 330 00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:31,060 - Why? - You're kind of a classic bear. 331 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,646 You think more of these guys... Like, does everybody here want to fuck me? 332 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,564 - A lot of people do. - Do you wanna fuck me? 333 00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,066 - No, I'm good. - Okay. 334 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:39,527 Is it making you uncomfortable? You want me to do something about it? 335 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,529 No. No. Not at all. Actually, it's very flattering. 336 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,239 I'm gonna hang on to this for a little bit. 337 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,866 Makes you think though. You know? Like imagine me as a gay dude. 338 00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:48,994 I'd have to bang all these dudes and probably all those dudes. 339 00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:51,288 It would suck to suck that much if you know what I'm saying. 340 00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:53,332 No, but if you were gay, you would like it. 341 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,251 So, it wouldn't feel like work. 342 00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,921 No, I don't think I'd like it. Nah, sorry. 343 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,089 Even if I was gay as hell, 344 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,132 even if I was gayer than you, I don't think I'd like it. 345 00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:05,010 Guys, I'm on the root beer wiki. It's true. 346 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,345 Wow. I'll catch up with you later. 347 00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:07,429 Are you okay, Rick? 348 00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:10,641 You look like you maybe are not okay. What's going on? 349 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:13,394 Just doing my best at keeping Austin weird. 350 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:15,896 Dude, poppers. 351 00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:18,190 These things are gonna be the next big thing. 352 00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:21,068 I'm gonna sell these things at a 200% markup. 353 00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:25,072 Yeah. How much of this did you do? A lot. 354 00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:26,156 - Yeah. - Oh. 355 00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:30,244 Can you text me so I remember? Poppers profit straight community. 356 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,454 Yeah, I'll text you in a second. I'm gonna take these with me. 357 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:33,956 - You hold steady here. - All right, buddy. 358 00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:36,041 Hope the money doesn't change me! 359 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,751 {\an8}- I'm gonna sing a song, okay? - No. 360 00:14:37,751 --> 00:14:38,836 {\an8}Hey, hey, hey! 361 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,546 - Just play a karaoke track. - Hey, how are you? 362 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:43,007 Hi. I haven't seen you in a bit. 363 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,091 Great. 364 00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:45,676 I'm gonna sing a ca... 365 00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:48,345 {\an8}a song for you and it's gonna be a cappella. 366 00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,848 Okay. Kill the music, please. Thank you. 367 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,645 {\an8}♪ It's gay town city ♪ 368 00:14:56,645 --> 00:15:00,691 {\an8}♪ Oh, it's gay town city ♪ 369 00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,610 ♪ Everybody loves gays ♪ 370 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,403 {\an8}♪ Everybody loves girls ♪ 371 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:07,031 {\an8}♪ But gays don't love girls ♪ 372 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:09,617 Oh, shit. I'm about to Shazam this one. Oh, wait. It's okay. 373 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,619 {\an8}Do you know how hot I am considered by men? 374 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:15,873 {\an8}And not a single one of you has even started to look at my cleavage. 375 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:21,045 {\an8}And that is also awful for me. 376 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:25,341 {\an8}♪ But I'll still sing for my gays ♪ 377 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:27,760 - No. - Word, bitch. 378 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,762 {\an8}- That was great. Give it up for you. - Hold on. Wait! 379 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,680 {\an8}No, that's it. Is it? 380 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,515 Keep the hag. 381 00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:35,559 Keep the hag. Keep the hag. - Hey, be nice! 382 00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:39,104 {\an8}- Do not call her hag. She's my friend. - Malcolm, stop with the misogyny. 383 00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:42,483 A white woman with red hair. Do you know how hard she had it? 384 00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:44,610 {\an8}- Time to go. Goodbye. Goodbye. - I love you, baby. 385 00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:48,530 {\an8}Give it up for Gwen. Gwen. 386 00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:50,741 Somebody gave me Ketamine. 387 00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:53,035 I don't know what that is. 388 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,287 {\an8}We're here tonight to celebrate a man. 389 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,414 {\an8}A myth, some would say. 390 00:15:57,414 --> 00:16:03,629 Maybe a legend. Evan Marquez, our Latinx queen. 391 00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:06,757 Evan's my hero! 392 00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,592 {\an8}You know, people will tell you in this life, 393 00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,344 {\an8}they'll say, "You can't. You can't be gay." 394 00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:13,389 {\an8}- Nobody says that. - They say that. They say that. 395 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:16,308 {\an8}- Okay. - The point is we're here to celebrate you. 396 00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:17,685 Mm-hmm. 397 00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,019 {\an8}All of you. 398 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:23,399 {\an8}I'm gonna celebrate Evan right now with all of me. 399 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,067 Oh. - Hit it. 400 00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:29,363 Oh, yeah. It's getting sad and sexual here. 401 00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:30,489 Whoo-hoo! 402 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:31,573 Gay pride. 403 00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:33,200 {\an8}You know what's coming? 404 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:37,371 {\an8}Something really hot. 405 00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:44,086 {\an8}♪ I wanna hold the hand inside-- ♪ 406 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:45,170 {\an8}Shit. 407 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:47,965 {\an8}It was supposed to be a whipped cream reveal but it got smooshed in the jacket. 408 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,091 {\an8}But it looked good before. 409 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:53,846 ♪ I wanna hold the hand that's true ♪ 410 00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:55,681 {\an8}Still good though, right? 411 00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:57,725 I'm not going up there. 412 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:03,105 - ♪ I look to you and I see nothing ♪ - ♪ Nothing ♪ 413 00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,189 - Come on. - Do it yourself. 414 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,816 No, you can come up with me. 415 00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:08,360 Get up there, Evan. Oh, Come on. Come on. 416 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,445 Okay. 417 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,655 {\an8}♪ In shadows ♪ 418 00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:13,073 {\an8}Loser. 419 00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:14,241 {\an8}Loser! 420 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:20,873 {\an8}♪ Some kind of light into your darkness ♪ 421 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,875 Harry. Harry, come up with me. 422 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,169 This is another teacher. Harry. 423 00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:26,253 {\an8}♪ I wanna... ♪ 424 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:32,176 {\an8}- We-We've been rehearsing this for weeks. - Weeks now. 425 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,969 You know this one, right? The chorus. 426 00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:35,679 You cool with this? 427 00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:37,890 Both your guys up there getting steamy? 428 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,516 Neither of them are my guys. 429 00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:41,143 They're my friends. It's fine. 430 00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:43,187 If I've learned nothing else in your world, 431 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,189 it's that there's no such thing as just friends. 432 00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,274 - What does that mean? - You know what I mean. 433 00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:48,525 Come on, man. I see... 434 00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,986 I see the way you look at Harry. I see the way he looks at you. 435 00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:52,154 You guys got chemistry. 436 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:55,240 It's fine. I'm not a jealous guy. They can do what they want. 437 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,452 Look, dude. When you look at him, it reminds me of how I look at Gwen. 438 00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,329 And vice versa. 439 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,413 What? 440 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:04,500 Come on, you don't have to be naive or pretend like you don't see it. 441 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,543 There's definitely something brewing between her and I. 442 00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,045 With you and Gwen? 443 00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:10,881 She said it by the bathroom. "I love you, Markie." What was all that? 444 00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:12,466 - Markie. - What? 445 00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:15,761 Look, I suffer in silence 'cause I don't wanna be a home-wrecker. 446 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:20,766 I'm sorry. This is such new information. 447 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:24,853 I mean, you wouldn't be a home-wrecker. She-She broke up with Nick tonight. 448 00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:25,896 Who? They what? 449 00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,982 - Gwen and Nick broke up. - Oh, my God, dude. Toni-- 450 00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:31,151 It's a full moon, brother. Tonight's our night. 451 00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:34,655 It's a night you and I go after the ones we love. 452 00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:42,412 ♪ Fade into you ♪ 453 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:50,963 ♪ Strange we never knew ♪ 454 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,172 Get up there, Evan. 455 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:55,801 Get up there and plant your flag in front of God and all these gay dudes. 456 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,970 Get up there and mark your territory. 457 00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:07,104 {\an8}♪ Red lights and the feeling That I needed you ♪ 458 00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:11,191 ♪ Ooh, you love me right in Nirvana ♪ 459 00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:12,693 ♪ So fast ♪ 460 00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:15,571 ♪ You're the best part of a sad song ♪ 461 00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:18,031 ♪ You got me all out of breath ♪ 462 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:21,869 Yes. Yes. Yes. 463 00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:23,829 ♪ And I've been running... ♪ 464 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:28,208 - Oh. So you're, like, in love with me now? - Yeah. I think that's a possibility. 465 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,543 - Yeah. - Okay. 466 00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:38,802 ♪ Fade into you ♪ 467 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:40,095 Evan. 468 00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:44,057 I meant the other guy, dude. 469 00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:45,142 Come on. 470 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:47,019 ♪ Gotta fade into... ♪ 471 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,103 Doofus. 472 00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:50,022 ♪ ...your darkness ♪ 473 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:52,900 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 474 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,860 Don't lay down. That's when the spins start. 475 00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:01,617 - Hello? - Be right with you. One moment please. 476 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,619 Okay. Rude. 477 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,078 Evan, I'm proud of you. 478 00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:08,540 You knew Malcolm was no longer faculty, so good for you. 479 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:09,750 You kissed the right guy. 480 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,710 That's not why I kissed him, Grant. 481 00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:15,339 I'm not gonna live my life by those rules anymore. 482 00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,049 It should have been Harry. Seriously. 483 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,843 I said it to you, man. Chemistry is off the charts. 484 00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:21,887 He should've kissed both of them thangs. 485 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:24,222 Yeah. No. Harry is great. 486 00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:30,187 But you know, Malcolm is Malcolm, and he has a special place in my heart. 487 00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:32,439 And the heart wants what it wants, you know. 488 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:34,358 I miss the gay bar. 489 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,402 Hmm. - You might just miss the poppers. 490 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,529 I miss the poppers. 491 00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:41,198 Wait, where is Malcolm? 492 00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:43,867 That waiter, Daniel, invited him to an orgy. 493 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,954 - Unbelievable. - Whatever. Whatever. 494 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,372 I accept him for who he is. 495 00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:52,292 - You gotta let people be who they are. - Whoa. 496 00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:54,461 And that's the only relationship advice worth a damn. 497 00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:58,757 - Yes. - That is actually, like, so true. 498 00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:00,342 Gwen, your voice was amazing tonight. 499 00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,427 You were like a-- You were a songbird. 500 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,596 A true songbird. 501 00:21:05,722 --> 00:21:08,058 I didn't sing at the bar, did I? 502 00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:11,186 Mmm. 503 00:21:12,479 --> 00:21:14,898 That is damn good. 504 00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:18,860 I haven't had one of these in probably, I don't know, 20 years. 505 00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:20,404 My wife forbids it. 506 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,948 Oh. Bad boy. 507 00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:24,741 Just tonight. 508 00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:26,368 It's a special night. 509 00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:27,995 Why is it special? 510 00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:30,580 Just feels special. 511 00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:32,457 Aw. 512 00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:33,959 And it's your birthday. 513 00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:38,463 Hey. 514 00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:40,799 Hey, teachers. - Look at this funky guy. 515 00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:44,386 - I thought you went to the orgy. - I went. It was good. 516 00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:48,849 That waiter is so fucking annoying, but he gives an almost academic blow job. 517 00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:50,559 Apartment or warehouse? 518 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:52,394 Um, Home Depot stockroom. 519 00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:53,603 Hmm. 520 00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:55,063 Stocking up on cock. 521 00:21:55,063 --> 00:21:57,941 Oh. Look at these two lovebirds. 522 00:21:57,941 --> 00:22:01,278 We had a really nice, long talk 523 00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:03,572 and we are back together. 524 00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:05,782 Aw. That's amazing. 525 00:22:05,782 --> 00:22:07,284 And you know why? 526 00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:10,954 It's because Markie, you said something so awesome in the car. 527 00:22:10,954 --> 00:22:13,915 You said, "You gotta let people be who they are." 528 00:22:13,915 --> 00:22:15,125 Aw. Oh. 529 00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:16,376 That's cute. Yeah. 530 00:22:16,376 --> 00:22:18,170 Thanks, Markie, for what you said. 531 00:22:20,922 --> 00:22:23,133 All right, just gonna announce something real quick. 532 00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:26,261 This pool, guys, is almost done. 533 00:22:26,261 --> 00:22:27,512 I mean, it's almost ready. 534 00:22:27,512 --> 00:22:30,515 But the water in it looks like dirty sink water. 535 00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:31,683 You shouldn't go in. 536 00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:33,351 The filter has to be up and running before-- 537 00:22:33,351 --> 00:22:34,352 Exactly. 538 00:22:34,352 --> 00:22:36,271 So it's not ready is what you're saying. 539 00:22:36,271 --> 00:22:37,773 - But show them the jets. - Okay. Okay. 540 00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:40,692 - I would love to see the jets. - Let's see the jets. 541 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:42,861 - Got it on Bluetooth here. - Bluetooth? 542 00:22:42,861 --> 00:22:43,862 - Okay-- - Watch this shit. 543 00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:47,240 Three, two, one. 544 00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:51,787 Oh, my God! - Oh. It's the main pipe! 545 00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:53,121 No. Not on the burger. 546 00:22:53,121 --> 00:22:55,832 I'm shutting it down! 547 00:22:56,917 --> 00:22:58,001 This is kind of... 548 00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:01,421 - Kinda boyfy-boyfy? - A little bit. 549 00:23:02,964 --> 00:23:06,426 ♪ I could repair you so gently ♪ 550 00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:13,475 ♪ So, can we kiss in your swimming pool? ♪ 551 00:23:14,017 --> 00:23:18,563 ♪ In this bathing suit I would die for you ♪ 552 00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:22,901 ♪ Maybe I don't have to leave so soon ♪ 553 00:23:23,443 --> 00:23:27,823 ♪ You look heavenly In this shade of blue ♪ 554 00:23:27,823 --> 00:23:30,784 ♪ We don't have to complicate it ♪ 555 00:23:32,452 --> 00:23:42,337 ♪ I just wanna be alone with you ♪